I Had Plans For Today…Instead, I Held You

Instead, I Held You

I had plans for today.

I was going to try to sweep up the nonsense your furry brother got into and tore up. I was going to straighten up the dining room table and make it look a little less terrible. I was going to put the dishes away and take the two of us on a walk.

Instead, I held you.

I was going to try to straighten my hair and throw in some laundry that’s been sitting in the hamper for days. I was going to put on my jewelry and maybe even some make up. Drop a package off at the post office. Grab some dishwasher pods and get some gas.

Instead, I held you.

We were going to try to make it to Target to exchange those diapers you outgrew and just wander the aisles to be out of the house. I was going to write a blog post about how to make your home perfect for fall and then actually make our home feel like fall. I was going to put out our one pumpkin decoration in preparation for Halloween.

Instead, I held you.

My mom came over to help me while your dad was gone for work. She asked if I wanted to go take a shower and I did, but you fell asleep in my arms and I watched your sleepy little face change expressions. I was going to make myself breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Instead, I held you (but I did actually eat. Don’t worry).

You’ve grown and changed so much in your short little life. You are only going to be this tiny for a short while and I want to soak up every last second that I can. Every time someone holds you for a few minutes, it seems like you’ve grown like crazy when you come back to me. I feel like I blink and you have grown another inch.

I don’t want to miss that.

I love you, sweet little boy, and if holding you means the house is a mess, I get nothing done, and I look like a mess, then that is ok with me. I will sit on this couch with you snuggled up in my arms, watching you sleep and grow. I will let the dishes sit and the laundry pile up. It will all get done, but for right now, you are all that matters.

Instead, I will hold you.

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